Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind, or at least that’s what it says in the classic wedding ceremony. But these days we know that marriage is also the melding of two people with their own bank accounts, debt, credit histories and spending habits. And while it may not be romantic to think about, researchers say financial problems can increase the odds of divorce. So, dearly beloved, we’ve gathered seven fiscal vows to make before you say “I do.”
1. I promise to hold the line on wedding spending.
Everyone wants a dream wedding, but you don’t want your marriage to turn into a financial nightmare because you got carried away with extravagant flowers and food. Figure out how much you can afford, set a budget and stick to it. From that day forward, you should be carrying a big photo album, a sack full of presents and some great memories – not burdensome debt.
2. I promise to agree in advance how we should mingle our money.
Some couples have three checking accounts – his, hers and ours. Others prefer just one. The most important thing is that you get comfortable with however you decide to marry your finances, before you actually marry each other.
3. I promise not to make you feel bad about your premarital debt.
It’s not unusual these days for one spouse to enter a marriage with a lot more debt than the other. And, even if you keep your finances completely separate, your spouse’s debt may affect your ability to get credit. Devise a plan in advance for how you’ll pay down your spouse’s debt, then forever hold your peace about it.
4. I promise not to belittle your spending priorities.
You vow to “love, honor and respect” your partner, right? Try to remember that when your spouse comes home with a big-ticket item you don’t think was worth the money. Chances are, you’ve splurged a time or two as well. Remember that you both spend, but on different things. The key to wedded bliss is to budget for it.
5. I promise not to keep big financial secrets from you.
It’s not a big deal to shave a few bucks off when you tell your spouse what you spent on your latest indulgence. But if the betrayal reaches into the thousands, it’s time to get help from a certified financial planner (and maybe even a marriage counselor).
6. I promise to plan for emergencies.
There will be sickness and health, good times and bad. If you’re financially prepared for the rough patches, your marriage will better withstand the stress. All couples should have an emergency fund equivalent to three- to six-months worth of living expenses, stashed in an easily accessible investment, such as a high-interest savings account.
7. I promise not to argue about money
This may be the hardest of all temptations to forsake. Accept each other’s money personalities – spender or saver, risk-taker or risk-avoider -- and review your finances at least once a year in a relaxed, no-pressure atmosphere.
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