In the romantic haze of Valentine’s Day, money is probably the last thing on your mind. But study after study has shown that when the swoon of cupid’s arrow wears off, financial issues can burst just about any couple’s relationship bubble. Once the roses are wilted and the chocolates are eaten, here are 7 money matters to discuss with your sweetheart.
1. Pre-marital debt
Often one partner enters the relationship with a significant amount of debt – perhaps from education loans or past overspending – while the other is free of financial baggage. Agree on how you’re going to pay off that debt prior to tying the knot. Better yet: pay off the debt before you make it official.
2. Mingling your money
Some people assume that, in marriage, it will be share and share alike. Others subscribe to the what’s-mine-is-mine-and-what’s-yours-is-yours philosophy. Either way can work, you just need to make sure you come to an agreement about whether to merge checking accounts, credit cards and the like, or to keep everything separate.
3. Managing your money
Once you’ve decided whose money will be used to pay the bills, you need to decide who will pay the bills – as in, sitting down and writing the checks and licking the envelopes a few times a month. One person should have ultimate responsibility for getting the light-bill mailed in on time, but the other still should check in periodically to make sure he or she remains in-the-know about the family finances.
4. Opposite objectives
Do you want to retire at 55 or would you rather travel the world before you’re 40? It’s important for couples to have shared goals, and money often plays a key role in whether you can accomplish them. Decide what your objectives are together, then make specific financial plans for how to achieve them.
5. Risk business
You like to play the stock market, but your spouse is more comfortable with Treasury bonds. Whether you revel in risk or keep it more cautious, you and your partner should meet in the middle when devising your investment strategy.
6. Saving vs. spending
Your spouse wants to use that bonus check to jet off to some place sunny, while you want to deposit it directly into your rainy day fund. Often there’s one saver and one spender in a relationship, and that’s not necessarily bad. The trick is to find a balance you can both live with.
7. Kids
Just when you think you’ve found that balance, kids will come along and throw your financial relationship for a loop. If you plan to have children, discuss the kind of financial values you want to instill in them as well as more concrete issues, such as college savings plans and whether or not they’ll get an allowance.
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